Does anyone think i could be mean?

yes i do have to say that im a ***** i alway talk **** about people and i think that's the reason why i can't find love that's why i don't have any good friends, that's why people hate me so much, i can't do anything now but just hope that everyone i'd talk **** about, lied, and made lies about them, could forgive me. sorry to everyone i hurt n lied. i know i did a lot of things wrong, and i wish i colud take it all back but i just can't, and hopefully god could forgive me for all my mistake i'vd done..and hopefully i could find my true love out there who can love me and won't hurt me like i'd hurt others